The Tax Man Cometh...So what?

There was once a time when the only thing I had to worry about in the month of April was whether I was going to pay or get money back with taxes this year. In recent years that worry just doesnt matter so much.

April has come again and with it brings a renewed since of frustration and hurt over the loss of my children. It's now been 3 years since I had any meaningful contact with them. One would think that as time goes on it would be less and less an impact on my life but that just isnt the case.

I have to pray daily to forgive my ex for what she has done to my children. I do this because someday I am going to stand before God and he will judge me and forgive me of my sins in no small part based on how I forgave others that sinned against me. So how can I expect to be forgiven if I do not forgive? How is it possible to forgive someone for something that they continue to do daily to you?

There are days that I feel some comfort in my prayers that God is hearing me and easing the pain and frustration that I feel. Then there are the days that I cannot get past the egregious wrong that was and is continuing to be done to my children and me. Words like malicious, spiteful and vindictive dont come close to describing my ex's actions or the intent with which they were committed.

Everyone has their personal evils that they have to deal with in life. My ex wife's actions in destroying the relationship with my children is mine.