Today hurts more than most
April 23rd. My oldest boy turns 17 today.
I miss them all so much every day but today for whatever reason just hurts more than the other days since I lost them.
I was awake most of the night remembering. Remembering how proud I was the day he was born. I finally had a son and could not have been happier with that blessing. Remembered when he was a baby just starting to pull up on furniture and how he always had a smile on his face at each new accomplishment. I remembered his first steps and his first word. I even recalled exactly where we were when he said his sisters name for the first time. The first time he found a bee in the yard while out playing. He picked it up and it stung his little hand and how his lower lip quivered but he didnt cry. He kept on playing but had learned his lesson about bees. He was such a kind, gentle person. Always concerned for other people and wanting to help them with their problems. As I lie in my bed last night I recalled his first t-ball game and how proud I was as his coach but even more so as his father.
I remember his first fish to catch. He was using one of those little disney fishing poles. I would cast the line out for him and he would stand there on the shore waiting for a bite. All the times previously he would reel it in after a few minutes and the bait would be gone so I'd put another worm on the hook and cast it back out. Then I saw him grab the handle with both hands because 'something' had tried to pull his pole away from him. I watched as he determinedly held on to his pole and reeled in this monster. He beamed as he held up his catch, a bass of no more than 6 inches long but it was a giant to him and I was proud along with him.
I love you, my son. I wish for you a very happy birthday and hope that somewhere in your day you might think of me and know that I love you.
Happy Birthday, Son.
Love, Dad.
I miss them all so much every day but today for whatever reason just hurts more than the other days since I lost them.
I was awake most of the night remembering. Remembering how proud I was the day he was born. I finally had a son and could not have been happier with that blessing. Remembered when he was a baby just starting to pull up on furniture and how he always had a smile on his face at each new accomplishment. I remembered his first steps and his first word. I even recalled exactly where we were when he said his sisters name for the first time. The first time he found a bee in the yard while out playing. He picked it up and it stung his little hand and how his lower lip quivered but he didnt cry. He kept on playing but had learned his lesson about bees. He was such a kind, gentle person. Always concerned for other people and wanting to help them with their problems. As I lie in my bed last night I recalled his first t-ball game and how proud I was as his coach but even more so as his father.
I remember his first fish to catch. He was using one of those little disney fishing poles. I would cast the line out for him and he would stand there on the shore waiting for a bite. All the times previously he would reel it in after a few minutes and the bait would be gone so I'd put another worm on the hook and cast it back out. Then I saw him grab the handle with both hands because 'something' had tried to pull his pole away from him. I watched as he determinedly held on to his pole and reeled in this monster. He beamed as he held up his catch, a bass of no more than 6 inches long but it was a giant to him and I was proud along with him.
I love you, my son. I wish for you a very happy birthday and hope that somewhere in your day you might think of me and know that I love you.
Happy Birthday, Son.
Love, Dad.
posted by Lost Dad at 7:24 AM
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